Scanxiety

Like pre-race jitters, scanxiety is a reference to the anxious thoughts which come flooding thru the cancer patient who is prepping for his or her next scan. For me, that comes in the reality of my brain MRI scheduled for this Wednesday.

Sure, I am a veteran of such MRI’s. My first was actually from my Achilles injury of some 7 years ago. Little did I know then that I would enter the claustrophobic tunnel on countless occasions in the years to come. And not because of any running overuse injury… but rather because of brain cancer. Even today, nearly 4 years into the battle, I am in denial that I even have brain cancer. Pinch me so I’ll wake up.

For so many of you out there – all, perhaps – cancer has touched your life in some similar way. It may be that you do not personally battle the cancer in your body, but someone you love (or loved dearly) battles. You must be aware that you are a great part of their strength – of my strength. So, thank you!

Now, back to scanxiety- how pointless is this phenomenon?! Like its mother, anxiety, scanxiety serves little purpose and likely betrays a lack of faith in me and in we who fall prey to its grasp.

So, what are we to do? I think we must use this nervousness to be jump-started into remembering the very sovereignty of God. He watches over our every moment and over all of the details of each of our lives. He cares about the fears we bring into the scanner; and so we can bring our fears to him. We can and should lay them at the foot of the cross. In this way, we align our hearts with the truths of Christ.

I remember some years ago when I had just graduated from Colby College, in Waterville, Maine, and I was yearning for the truth – the capital T Truth, I remember telling my brother, Matt. I wish then that I had had someone who could point out to me that one man in all of history actually claimed that he was the truth – the way, the truth and the life! How rich those words ring for me today. How much of my scanxiety they evaporate!